An open letter to everyone, everywhere:
Names are important!
I have a name. My name is Wendy. I love my name as it’s the name my parents picked out for me. My name was first used in literature by J.M. Barrie as a lead character in the beloved childhood book, Peter Pan.
Teachers in elementary school would get my first name, Wendy, mixed up with my last name, Robbins, and call me Robin. I had to remind a coach in high school that my name is not “hey you,” it’s Wendy. My name is Wendy.
And, thanks to The Association, Everyone Knows it’s Windy, has, on occasion, made my life miserable.
Names are important!
What in the world does this have to do with the title of this blog? I’m glad you asked! Let me tell you!
Last week, I had to pick up two of my grandsons from their school. Their names are, for the sake of this blog, Otis, and Floyd. As I pulled up to tell them who I was picking up, I was asked, “Who are you picking up?” My response was, “Otis and Floyd *Burgermeister.” Let me stop here and say, I know there are a lot of children that get picked up. I know it’s been a long day of school and people are ready to go home. I really do understand all of that. But! I would have rather heard them say, “The “Burgermeister boys or the Burgermeisters,” than what was said. They said, “Otis and the brother.” When I asked what the person inside the building called them, they said, “Otis and the brother.” For four days I picked them up. Every single day saying, “I’m here to pick up Otis and Floyd,” and every single day I heard, “Otis and the brother.” His name is not, nor will it ever be, “and the brother.”
Names are important!
I’ve sat on this blog for an entire week, trying to figure out why in the world it bothered me so much. I have finally come to a conclusion. Calling Floyd, “and the brother” takes away his identity. His identity has suddenly become “the brother.” And while being Otis’ brother is a part of his identity as he is the brother to Otis, it’s not his entire identity. He’s Floyd. A gregarious, energetic, funny guy that loves to explain puns to his Paw-Paw, play soccer and video games, talk incessantly (like his Bubbie), take tests, and give a hug that will last you for days. He doesn’t like sleeping in the room by himself or reading (I’m hoping that is changing). He is the complete opposite of Otis, who needs time to decompress after school, is just now getting to the place he likes to give a side hug, loves reading and video games, and would rather spend time indoors than out. Each of them is quite unique, and so are their names.
Names are important!
Let me try and land this plane. If someone is wearing a name tag when you are checking out, say thank you and use their name. If someone tells you their name, try to remember it and use it the next time you see them. If you can’t remember it, don’t be embarrassed, just ask them again. If you use the wrong pronunciation, just think of what happened to John Travolta in the clip below…
…and try again, there’s no way your mess-up could be as bad as John’s. Remembering names can be hard and it can be frustrating when you don’t remember, but try.
Finally, when someone tells you they are picking up Otis and Floyd, remember, in the time you said, “and the brother,” you could have just as easily said, “Floyd.”
Names are important!
Wendy Roseman 